Blessed are those with nothing to say

Somebody needs to do the dishes so it might as well be me.

Sometimes I’m just empty. My mind yields no cleverness and my tongue has nothing to say. My soul has no wisdom to bestow and my body lies vacant of enthusiasm.

Sometimes I just have nothing to give, to either God or people, and quite frankly when these seasons of emptiness insist themselves upon me, I receive them; they are a great pleasure and joy to me.

I hold my emptiness up to the light of Christ and I guffaw, assured that all is well. I receive my emptiness as a sign that the Spirit is speaking and it is time to listen. I receive my emptiness as something that can’t be overcome by force. I know I cannot trick myself out of it.

There is no amount of books which can be read which will allow for bypassing the ebb of this tide. There is no amount of religious fervor which can be whipped up that will keep at bay the meagerness which God has allowed. So when I am empty I rejoice. I throw parties.

Blessed are those who have nothing to say because, well, someone has to make the soup and brew the tea.

When I am empty I do yard work. I move my body. I rake leaves and cut firewood. When I have no words I build a fire. I crumple up old newspaper and prepare the kindling and light it and stare into the flames. I pet the cat. I have a cup of coffee in the afternoon. I organize my desk. I am not afraid of not having anything to offer, to give.

I am happy to get low. I am happy to get small. I am happy to make my life just about doing the dishes and wiping the counters.

Have you ever told an anecdote that went down like a rat sandwich? Well, don’t wallow in self criticism and self loathing. Ignore the spirit of cringe that wants to cause you sleeplessness. Blessed are those who have underdeveloped comedic timing. Humility is theirs. Blessed are those who have no chill for they will be chilled. Blessed are those without any words of wisdom for they are the ones God listens to.